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About Joanna Nicola

Joanna Nicola is a consultant, developer of the Nicola Method for high conflict and author of The Nicola Method Workbook. This method shows you easy techniques that let you reverse the negative behaviors of high conflict personalities.

Women With Traits of BPD – Why Men Stay

With this understanding of what makes the woman with traits of BPD engage in these destructive behavior patterns, let’s now turn to the question of why so many men stay even when it’s clear that the woman they are with is not capable of sustaining a healthy relationship. In […]

Did Your Ex-Girlfriend Have Traits Of Borderline Personality Disorder?

The bond that you formed with her may have been the strongest you have ever felt for another human being, and you may have very quickly been convinced that this was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. But what you might not have […]

A Stress-Free Approach To Resolving Marriage Conflict

Conflict Resolution Without Confrontation

Every couple encounters conflict from time to time. Although most of us accept that conflict is a normal part of married life, none of us enjoys hearing negative things about our behavior from those we love. This blog post is for anyone who has ever wished […]

Is Your Spouse On Your Side?

Is Your Spouse On Your Side?
How To Keep a Cold Shoulder From Turning Into a Cold War

But there is a very simple sentence that can be used that will ensure you get your spouse on your side before one of these cold wars can set in. In this blog […]

The Four Questions You Need to Be Asking To Help Save Your Marriage

These are people that don’t have relationship-threatening issues such as addictions or infidelity. They simply, over time, become unhappy in their marriage. This leaves a lot of couples wondering what they could do in order to keep their marriages intact.

In order to understand how marriages that start […]

Reversing Emotional Dysregulation In Individuals With Traits Of BPD

Welcome to Part 3 of the Nicola Method Blog series on understanding high conflict women, those women who have some traits of borderline personality disorder, or BPD, but do not qualify for a diagnosis.

In Part 1 and Part 2 of this series we explored many of the differences between […]

Difficult In-Laws: How to Stop Controlling Behavior Without Confrontation

Difficult In-Laws:
How To Stop Controlling Behavior Without Confrontation
When In-laws Interfere
If you have been struggling to try to improve your relationship with a difficult in-law you know how painful having to put up with an overbearing or controlling extended family member can be. Although abusive in-laws can create terrible problems […]

Defense Mechanisms of the High Conflict Woman In Relationship

Defense Mechanisms of theHigh Conflict Woman In Relationship
Part 2 of Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder in High Conflict Women

Emotional Sensitivity In Women

In Part 1 of Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder in High Conflict Women we used a spectrum of emotionality to understand the role emotionality plays in women with […]

Are You Being Blamed For Your Wife’s Relationship Insecurity?

Part 1: Examining the Myths Behind Female Relationship Insecurity

In this blog series we are going to lift up the rock and look at what’s really underneath the anger and blame associated with female relationship insecurity. You are also going to be shown a way to easily put a […]

Dismantling the Defenses of Female Relationship Insecurity

In Part 1 we explored the process by which a woman transfers the responsibility for her problems with relationship insecurity to her husband. She does this by blaming him for not making her feel more secure. When she begins to use anger and blame, she finds she can cover […]